Friday, January 30, 2015

9 Signs you are a true Nine Inch Nails Fan

9. You wish there was a backwards N key on your keyboard.

8.  You sigh with disappointment when you hear 'Closer' on the radio. Not that it's a bad song, but the       radio stations seem to think it's the only song NIN ever recorded.

7.  On the flipside, you get downright giddy when you hear 'Terrible Lie' on the radio.

6.  That look you get when you mention Nine Inch Nails and someone replies with "I like the 'fuck           you like an animal' song".

5. You refer to 'With Teeth' (Both the song and the album) as 'Awitha Teetha'

4. You clap at 2:29 of 'The Warning

3. There is no you, there is only him... Trent Reznor as everyone. Yes, it's a thing

2. You realize that 'Something I Can Never Have' is possibly the best ballad ever written.


1. You envy anyone who was at this show...



Sunday, January 4, 2015

My Favorite Horror Short Stories.

The title says it, these are some of the best short stories I have read. Before I start, I want to point out that despite reading a lot last year, I had a long time gap where I didn't read. I still have a lot more authors to read up on, hence the fact that there are no Lovecraft or Barker stories on here, however, that doesn't mean that these stories don't deserve their merit.

In The Tall Grass by Stephen King and Joe Hill


What do you get when Stephen King and his son Joe Hill collaborate together on a story? A fistful of awesome, that's what. This story starts off with a definite Jeepers Creepers vibe, and you'll see why. A brother and sister stop at an abandoned rest stop to take a break from a long drive. There is a field across the highway with very tall grass. They hear a boy screaming for help in the grass. They  enter the field to find and help the boy, which ends up being a more difficult task than they thought. In the field they get disoriented and things seem to keep changing. From this point on the story gets weirder and weirder until reaching a messed up climax.  As far as I know this story isn't available in paper form yet, just as an EBook download. 

States Of Glass by Jeremy Robert Johnson:
This story is in the collection 'We Live Inside You'. This whole book is amazing, but States Of Glass stood out more for me than any of the other stories. While most of JRJ's stories involve parasitic or body horror, this story works on a much deeper level. A woman's husband has died while on a business trip and she has to travel to where he was to identify his body. What you experience is the thoughts and emotions she goes through in the whole process, denial, guilt, sexuality, etc. It may sound simple, but it's a very haunting story that will stick with you.

Voluntary Commital by Joe hill
This story is from Joe Hill's short story collection '20th Century Ghosts'. This whole collection is great, and proves that Joe Hill is not just living off of his father's success. Hill is also a very talented writer. While there are many good stories in this collection, Voluntary Committal definitely holds the #1 place for me. The narrator in the story reflects on his younger years and discusses his little brother.  For lack of a better term, the younger brother is an idiot savant... in a manner of speaking. He is mentally challenged, but has a knack for building things. He ends up building a series of tunnels out of cardboard boxes in his basement. These tunnels lead to the disappearance of a neighborhood boy. The story gets kinda strange after that. It's not a very climactic story, it's not filled with a bunch of action, it's just a haunting tale that leaves you a little disturbed.

Maybe You Will Remember by Alvin Schwartz
There's no way I could have done this list without adding a story from the 'Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark' series.  This story was in 'Scary Stories 3 : More Tales To Chill Your Bones'. This story centers on a mother and daughter travelling on vacation. The mother falls ill and they end up staying in a hotel. The daughter is sent all over the place to find medicine for her mother. Upon returning to the hotel, nobody there remembers her and her mother is nowhere to be found. While this story may not be in your face horror, the story just leaves you with a dark feeling wondering what the hell happened. If you flip to the back of the book, it does tell you what happened, but just picturing yourself in the daughter's position, left wondering, is enough to give you the shivers.

The Breathing Method by Stephen King
Stephen King has a long list of short stories and novellas, probably too many to chose from, however, this novella is definitely one of the more haunting ones. This is the 4th novella in the novel 'Different Seasons', and funny enough, this is the only one that hasn't been made into a movie.  Our narrator, David, is a lawyer who is invited by his senior partner to join a strange men's club. This club mostly consists of men reading, drinking, playing pool, etc. However, one tradition of the club is that the men will gather and tell strange stories. One of the members, Dr. McCarron, tells a story about an incident early in his medical career involving a young woman bearing an illegitimate child. This was in the days where that was very taboo, however the woman was persistent and headstrong on going through with the pregnancy. This story ends in a terrible accident, but the events of this accident are so strange that this story will definitely stick with you.

Sticks by Karl Edward Wagner
While walking through the woods one day, an artist stumbles upon a series of stick formations hanging from trees. These formations lead him to an abandoned house where the artists encounters something terrible. That's all I'm going to say without giving anything away, but this is definitely a creepy little story.

The Slaughter House by Richard Matheson
A very cool haunted house tale in which two brothers buy a house together, only to find out it is inhabited by a seductive ghost. Again, not going into more detail because I don't want to give too much away. 

3 Horror novels that may induce nightmares.

I was able to read a good bit of novels last year. Most of them were horror, and I enjoyed most of them, but here are a few that stood out for their creepyness factor.


3. The Ritual by Adam Nevill




Four old friends get together for a hike through the Scandanavian wilderness. After getting lost, they end up stumbling upon the remains of a dead animal up in a tree. They realize that this was not the work of an animal, it was something else. Tensions build between the friends as they struggle to find their way out of the woods and find even more strange things and realize someone or something is following them. This all continues until you are left with one remaining person. This is just the first half of the book. I won't go into details about the 2nd half, because I think it's better to go into it blindly. While I enjoyed the book as a whole, the first half had me clinging to the edge of my seat, creeped out, and begging for more. You literally almost feel as if you are in the wilderness with these guys. Definitely a must read for horror fans.

2. Communion by Whitley Strieber



So Whitley Strieber, author of novels such as 'Wolfen' and 'Cat Magic'  was a popular horror novelist in the 70s and 80s. In 1985 he claims he was abducted by aliens. This is his true story.

Now, I'm not here to argue as to whether or not I believe this story is true. Put that whole argument aside right now, because whether it's true or not, the fact remains that this book is fucking scary.
 Split into four sections, the first deals with what he remembered originally, the second talks about his research, the third deals with his hypnotherapy sessions and the memories he unlocked with them, and the fourth just discusses abductions and sightings throughout history. I will tell you up front, the fourth section kinda loses steam for me. While it's interesting, it almost seems boring after the events of the first three sections. The first three sections are just scary as hell. What I also like about this novel and Whitley Strieber is that he even admits that it may have been something else. His basic statement is that he believes it was aliens, you take from it what you will.  To me it doesn't matter, what matters is that this book kicked ass and gave me nightmares. If you wish, there was a movie adaptation in the early 90s starring Christopher Walken, but trust me when I say, it's terrible. It took the story and made it hokey. It loosely followed the book. Christopher Walken couldn't even save this movie.

1. Penpal by Dathan Auerbach


A good friend of mine put it best when he said "I'm 20 years old, reading this book in the middle of a sunny afternoon and I feel like I'm a little kid alone in a dark house". That pretty much sums it up.
The story is told from a narrator (whose name is never given) is reflecting on childhood memories. As he reflects and digs deeper, he realizes there was a lot more going on then he thought.

 Depending on how old you are, you may have heard of this or done this in school, but some schools would do a project where you would put a note and a self addressed stamped envelope in a ziplock bag, attach it to a balloon, and let it go into the air. The result is that when the balloon eventually falls, someone finds it and sends you a letter about who they are and where they found it, therefore, becoming your penpal. When the narrator does this, he is the last in his class to get a response. When he does get his response, however, his is not a letter, it is simply a polaroid. Over time, he receives more and more polaroids, and upon inspecting them, he realizes there is a very strange connection between them. Again, I won't go into more details, I went into the story blind, and I think it's better that way. The creepiest thing about this novel is the fact that not only could this really happen, it makes you look back on your childhood and wonder if there is something dark hidden there that you may not realize.

Friday, January 2, 2015

5 Horror novels that you don't read, you experience.

There are horror novels that are good, and there are horror novels that are so good that you feel like you didn't just read the story, you experienced. Here are five great examples.



5. 'The Shining' by Stephen King

I know what you're probably thinking, how cliche to add one of the most famous horror novels from one of the most famous horror writers. You may also be thinking 'whatever, I saw the movie'. While the movie is great, it is no comparison to what the book has to offer. This book is so intensely written and has the ability at times to almost bring on an anxiety attack. If you don't believe me, or if you think there's no need to read the book because you've seen the movie and/or mini-series, just do me one favor. Just read Chapter 30, which is titled '217 Revisited'. Easily one of the best chapters in any horror novel, literally anxiety and intensity in written form.

4. 'Haunted' by Chuck Palahniuk


If you know anything about Chuck Palahniuk, you know that his writing is nowhere near the norm. His stories are usually very strange and filled with dark sarcastic humor. In 'Haunted' Chuck has written the horror anthology that spits in the face of all other horror anthologies. While the book is a short story collection, it is also a novel in itself. A group of people respond to an ad for a writers retreat in which they will cut themselves off from society. While on this retreat, each character tells a story. Most of these stories could work as a stand-alone, but they also tie into the wraparound story as well. The stories alone are strange, fucked up, and at times gross, however the wraparound is just as interesting. There is hardly a likable character in this entire book, they are mostly narcissistic sociopaths, but that's what makes the book so entertaining. This book is easily one of the most off key things you will read, and when you're finished, it will only leave you saying 'What the fuck did I just read?" If you don't believe me, read the story 'Guts'. Originally published in Playboy. It is the first story in the novel. Chuck Palahniuk has read 'Guts' aloud at multiple events and often has caused at least one person to faint and multiple people to leave the room.
Read 'Guts' here.

3. 'The Raw Shark Texts' by Steven Hall

Ok, while this was not one of my favorite books, I still liked it. I also think it is  something that should be read solely based on it's originality. So what's it about? Bear with me here. Eric Sanderson wakes up with  no memory of who he is. He finds notes telling him to contact his doctor. The notes are signed 'The first Eric Sanderson'. Eric starts receiving more and more notes from the 'first Eric Sanderson' explaining more details of the reasons for his amnesia and also explains that he has activated a conceptual shark called a Ludovician which will over time erase one's memory and sense of self. This Ludovician will pursue him until it erases him entirely. This begins a journey that is almost too weird to describe. It's better I just leave it here and you experience it on your own. This odd story entwined with occasional odd page designs (seen below) make for a unique reading exerience.


2. 'The Summer I Died' by Ryan C. Thomas


This book caught me completely off guard. After reading the plot summary and the reviews, I figured I would give it a try. I was skeptical however, going in thinking it was just going to be a senseless gore fest written solely for shock value. How wrong I was. Roger Huntington is home for the summer from college. He plans to spend a lot of his summer hanging out and catching up with his best friend, nicknamed 'Tooth'. Roger and Tooth go into the woods to shoot guns, shoot the shit, etc, when they hear a woman screaming off in the distance. They decide to find the source of the scream and see if they can help. They end up coming upon a small house in the woods. As they approach the house, a woman comes running out of the basement door with an axe in her head. Right behind the woman is a literary character that should never be forgotten. A psychopathic redneck known only as 'Skinny Man'. After a struggle, Roger, Tooth, and the woman end up chained up in the Skinny Man's basement. Mind games, horror, and torture ensue from this point forward. While this book is gory and disturbing as hell, there's more to it than that. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something in this story that locks you in and just won't let go. Maybe it's the dark side in all of us, or maybe it's the age old struggle for survival. Either way, this book will have you cringing and thinking 'Why am I still reading this?', yet at the same time thinking 'I have to know what happens next, I have to know if anyone gets out alive!' When you finish this book, I guarantee you will need at least an hour to process the madness and macabre that you have just taken in, and like me, you will want someone you know to read it so you have someone to talk to about it, maybe even form a support group, I will warn you, this is not for the faint of heart. I also recommend the sequel 'Born To Bleed'. While not as good as this first entry, it definitely holds it's own, and throws in an intriguing twist into the Roger Huntington saga.

1. 'House Of Leaves' by Mark Z. Danielewski

Anyone who knows me pretty well probably expected this book to be in my #1 spot. Why? Because hands down this is probably the best horror novel ever written..... at least in my opinion it is. Never have I been so enraptured by a story as I was with HOL. It's odd typography and massive size make it intimidating to some people, but let me tell you, this book is the most unique reading experience you will ever have. I will admit upfront, it's not for everyone. It can be a complicated book and hard to follow at times. With it's double narrative, numerous (mostly fictitious) footnotes, informative chapters, multiple quotes and languages, and experimental typography, this book throws it all at you. This book is like an onion, with many layers that slowly peel away to a core story that has been described as 'A love story hidden in a horror story'. I won't get into details on the plot here, because honestly, it's hard to describe in a way that doesn't sound crazy or too confusing, also, I think the less you know going into this book, the better. This is a book that just needs to be read. I will say this though, once I started reading this book, I couldn't stop. I only put it down to eat and sleep. I spent the majority of a weekend with my face in this book.  Below are some examples of the typography I mentioned.